Friday, July 30, 2010

The Artist's Curse

My whole life people would look at my mom with envious eyes and say to her, "you're so talented, I wish I could paint/sew/sing/(basically anything you can think of) like you." And she would say back, "No you don't!!!"

I never quite understood why my mom hated her creativity and talent until now. Our Family calls it "the artist's curse"... Because we realize how stupid we are choosing careers in the arts that earn us diddly. I have a father who chose to be an artist for a living. He has commuted to Salt Lake everyday for over 20 years to be graphic artist. And the first thing he does when he comes home is pick up a guitar. For years my mother worked as a scenic artist for movies (even worked on Dumb and Dumber.) My brothers and I grew up very happy. We never got all the cool new electronics or expensive new clothes that our friends and neighbors always had, but we had amazing parents that could teach us anything! And to us, that's all that mattered. Obviously to my brothers they didn't mind growing up that way, because now they are in school studying art as well. I spent this summer convinced that I was a practical person, and that I was going to switch majors. I even made a post a few months back declaring that I was indeed going to become a teacher. And part of me still likes the thought of that, but it's the artist curse in matter what, we end up going back to what we know and love. My mind was made up to change, but my heart still lingered in my Music Dance Theatre major. (hence picture i look happy to be on that stage or what?)

I am SO wishy washy.... I know... But this time of life is so scary because every decision you make can change your life. CURSE the artist curse and CURSE being indecisive!!!
I still wish I could get a letter in the mail telling me what to major in, who to marry, how many kids to have, where to live, what to say, who to be, what I should wear, what food to buy.....
I really want to major in MDT, but I also want to be practical and unselfish.

So, the moral of the story...
Don't ask me what I am majoring in. Because I have NO IDEA!!!!!


  1. I LOVE YOU HAILEY! I spent enough years feeling 'flakey' for both of us. I wanted to paint, study technology and business, even owned my own company designing and creating beautiful things for children to wear. And now I teach SpEd! ALL OVER the MAP! And if I didn't already have a skill mastered, I would pursue it with a vengeance if it was something I wanted to try or experience.

    Then one summer night, lying next to you in YOUR bed, I had a life-changing epiphany. A crystal clear thought entered my head that filled me with joy and peace. It whispered, " Don't forget that God made the dirt AND the flowers, the mountains AND the seas. He did not limit himself to ONE single task, but rather He must be the ULTIMATE 'Jack of All Trades'. Having the desire to explore a multitude of interests is a God-like characteristic.. And He doesn't care WHAT you do for work- He just cares that in WHATEVER capacity you DO ultimately choose, you serve him with the Spirit. And if you use the Holy Spirit to show you the way, EVERYTHING will then be OK.
    Love you SOOO much!

    P.S. I'll be sending you a letter in the mail telling you what to major in, who to marry, how many kids to have, where to live, what to say, who to be, what you should wear, what food to buy..... hahahaha

  2. Hailey, this is just plain awkward coming out of the "I stalk your blog" closet, but I just had to say I know just how you feel.

    I love to write, draw, and I so badly want to major in animation. There are other parts of me, however, that say, "Those are selfish pursuits, and I probably should go for teaching English." But then when I read an article about BYU's animation program, it said that some of the professors and students in that program realized that while it's not exactly explicit service, the things they can do is change what is thrown to kids on TV and in the movies. And I'm a huge advocate of that.

    Something that is far too rare is a Mormon who is highly successful in the arts field (meaning MDT, film, art, literature) and still active. It's a scary, soul-destroying world out there. So while I'm cool with whatever you major in (because I'm pretty positive it won't be changing MY life per say), I'm just saying that we need those good LDS artists just as much as we need teachers.